Nathan Sheets

Clintonisms: The Amusing, Confusing, and Suspect Musing of Billary (edited by blogging friend Julia Gorin) is a book meant to amuse you, and yet it somehow also manages to make you wet yourself in nervousness at the prospect of Hillary Clinton becoming the next president of the United States.

Indeed, the nervous laughter emanating from my and other Republicans' mouths is not because Hillary Clinton could very well be cantering herself toward the White House as we speak, but rather because she and her husband could both be cantering toward the most powerful position on Earth.

Clintonisms is a collection of quotes by the being known as "Billary" as well as their friends, acquaintances, staff and people who randomly met them, with a wonderfully hilarious forward by Julia. And it will make your skin crawl thinking of Hillary entering the White House.

In the forward, Julia asks the tough questions: "If Bill Clinton was the first black president, would that make Hillary Clinton the second black president? Or is Bill Clinton a self-loathing brother who married a white woman and is a traitor to his race?" These are simply questions that must  be answered, and Julia is not afraid to go there.

Quick Snippets:

His Vivid and Painful Imagination
"I have vivid and painful memories of black churches being burned in my own state when I was a child." --Bill Clinton, about his childhood in Arkansas, where there weren't any church burnings in that time period, June 8, 1996...

...Can Be Like Cuba?
"I pledge allegiance to the America that can be." --Hillary Clinton, as recalled by Chris Matthews, "Hardball", November 2001...

Viva La Revolución
"We just can't trust the American people to make those types of choices. Government has to make those choices for people." --Hillary Clinton, to Illinois Rep. Dennis Hastert about health care, 1993

One particularly interesting chapter was entitled "A Note of Thanks for All You Do", in which we are exposed to the treatment of Hillary's immediate staff throughout the years. She would often use profanity toward them, demand that they do things that were prohibited by their job descriptions and just be a general grump. One Arkansas State Trooper said, "We all got used to her screaming, 'Just get the hell away from me.'", and a secret service agent got a book in the back of the head thanks to Hillary. I'm sure that temper of hers won't flair up when she becomes president, right? Perhaps we can count on her to throw books at the terrorists rather than using manly weapons.

We also get a view of the laws the Clintons have broken, the lies they have told, and the language they use to try to get around tough questions about their sketchy past actions.

I have recently been interested in the scandal involving Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky because only in recent years have I realized how strong of a case it really is. Liberals would have us believe it was "all about sex", but no, it wasn't. The president was a felon, and he lied under oath. With liberals proclaiming that we should all just "mind our own business", the fact remains that any question can be asked of you when you are under oath. You cannot lie, even if the question is "not the business" of the jury and judge.

Liar or Philosopher?
Q: Do you agree with me that the statement, "I was never alone with her," is incorrect? You were alone with Monica Lewinsky, weren't you?
A: Well again...it depends on how you define alone.

Classic.

Julia's book can be ordered from Amazon.com here. You can visit the book's website at Clintonisms.com.